its not often i let up my curtains.. and i realize.. i have a pretty nice view from my bedroom window.. -points up- like scenic siol.

anyway.. i think theres a lil part of me thats extremely terrified of relationships yet i still have hope in em.. which is good i think? been a crazy week really.. even tho i havent gone out often.. monetary constraints u see.. hahaha.. what should i call it.. hmm.. an emotional roller coaster? i don't know what to expect anymore.. really.. nor do i think i deserve to expect anything.. but theres always a lil hope there somewhere right? that everything will be great.. better than before.. that there will be no more sadness.. tears and rage.. i wish. i hope. i seek.

i want.