alright! exams in 2 hours! wish me luck! oh wait not luck. please pray that i remember everything i've studied. yes yes. mpo is just too factualised. so many different theories to remember..

jia you ryan! jia you everyone! :D :D :D



okay.. to all my mates.. do me a favour.. type down all the songs you want to be available in the karaoke system and email to me thanks. chinese words for chinese songs and etc. i getting the guy to put in the new songs but he says he needs a request list. nise. so do list down whatever songs u want as i really have no time to bother with this.

example:

周杰倫 - 說好的幸福呢

or something like that.. email to me rivvvy@gmail.com

best by this week yo.

want to sing what better write down if not don't have don't complain. thank you very muchie.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i havent slept i am going to die. help. screw everyone. oh and sophia is a sorloi. bryan indeed. :)





when do u get to make a sign like that with a smug face to opposing fans?

when you're about to win most of the coveted player awards of the year of course. HAHA

hi lil al same msn dp? :D

elisha... why do u keep changing blog addresses?!?!



okay! i am injury free today! :D :D :D

http://www.seventeen.com.sg/queenofqueens/2008/

support my sister! jalene from smu! vote vote vote! click on vote now yo! :)



take a chance on me, and we'll see what good will happen. :)

okay last ecp outing. going now! no injuries to ryry please. :)) dep dunt be naughty. i am stressed too. denise i took quite a few pictures.. but.. ugly =P
karen you are the sorloi. and cy fk u . i also want to end my exams. :(

whos wohoo ?

tmr STUDY STUDY STUDY. >.<





camwhored yesterday.. was so bored on the bus hahaha.. exams in a week. oh no.. im worried about math the most but.. i sense im gonna get bad surprises in the other subjects bah. i hate exams. :(

need to put in four hundred times more effort soon. let me enjoy this weekend. just a little. >.<



okay. gd news! i have much less to study ! going to school is a gd idea. 4 main chapters for mpo! yay! gotta copy erni's notes quickly haha.

i have much shopping to do.. running out of hairspray and shampoo. -.-" aiya no money already la how!

there you go. its quite clear what.. not bad liao la.. omnia ftw.

NO FUCKING WAY ANYONE IS GONNA TAKE PICS OF ME WHEN IM SWEATY AGAIN. NO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

; after soccer i have injuries on my fist? i dunt remember punching anyone.



;everyone meet xiao hong.











hi alston. u added to my bruise collection. tim zun mass. :(

btw i book 11 k! chiu all dunch steal fromzz me. fkin lmx. and dep and cy stop flirting. HEHE



WHAT DO U THINK I AM?! CUSTOMER SERVICE?!



i quote karen. HAHAHA. DAMN FUNNY LA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.



damn shld i go for soccer or not?! i look at my leg and i think twice sia somemore so many unknowns going tio kick also lan lan. >.<




;picture attached. HURTS LIKE HELL LA.

feels as if my week just flew past. not been feeling good. and i havent slept yet. havent taken any photos recently either. everytime i glance into the mirror, feels like i've grown uglier;fatter;not myself. spent my night spouting rubbish to irene, and no you're not fat. i know im random.. my brain doesnt work in an orderly manner.. everything i say especially in my current condition doesnt make any sense at all. but i appreciate u listening to my rubbish :)


when i woke up hours and hours ago i had so many things to pen down, but now i have nothing. like i always have been. nothing is the keyword now. pai seh RBM leader i forgot i got 2 colours cannot quit mahjong haha.. life is going so fast now, just when i really need to slow down.. but its subjective i guess. so many things i'd like to say yet i cant mouth the words nor type the tune. all thats left is silence. i really need to sit alone with no computer no handphone and figure out what i want and whether i should go for what i want. valen has been a brilliant friend recently.. even tho she's still as fierce.. hahaha.. but i can see it in her eyes she's not that sad anymore. i am probably not making sense right now... sleep deprived.


okay now about my day.. or lack of it. woke up.. cs-ed like a nerd the whole night with the lt dudes. internal is bad for you. but yet so fun. hahaha.. went to chompchomp to tabao my dinner.. ah lians everywhere man. luckily on fridays the pretty girl count is high at serangoon gardens. tip for everyone ya? dress up. hahhaa.. came home.. internal many more maps.. with paul being the butt of much laughs.. hahaha.. oh and i've been using garena to dota recently.. makes me wonder why i didnt start sooner.. so much more efficient la.. but i am suspicious about it being anti hack and all.. the guys are playing soccer at east coast on sunday again.. but i think i'll sit this one out.. bruises still on my shin man.. recently my nights have been filled with msning with schmates and all.. hahaha.. party conversations? add whoever is online lol. which is quite fun too :) oh oh and irene's webcam is good.


what if it were true? what would you do? oh man im becoming a person of many fears. well as for who miss E is.. its quite obviously erni. dunt feel so smart dep.. its OBVIOUS. HEH. oh ya. anggi was surprisingly nice yesterday. very surprising. a side of her i didnt think she had. oops. now she's gonna ngambek again. MISS NGAMBEK. :) havent been talking to the wwts dudes this few days. maybe everyone is busy? or with OTHER commitments HAHA. prissy dunt be angry but i have to say it. SPIDER WEB! anyways nows not the time for anything except everything related to business math, business english and managing people organizations. shit man i am in so much deep shit.


oh and about the wwts jersey.. black please. black has my vote. no sorzai red please. I WANT 10 THANK YOU. u can call me rvn. HEHE. i have a strong urge to splurge on football manager 2009, but my mind and my wallet are keeping that urge in check. no point wasting money on the game when i can probably download it soon enough. i quote nigel on that. I AINT NO PIRATE. HE IS. =x


why am i so ugly now?! plus i have a new pimple. fuck la. need to find a way to solve this esteem problem. i will save my criticism of png for another day... HEHEHHE. but dude u really kana spider till jia jia lat. if i were you i'd run away and hide in a cave for a few weeks. actually everyone is getting spidered, OR CLOSE TO. oh well. we'll see if we can meet up soon enough :)

AND DEVINA. WHAT IS CIEK?!



not feeling good. massive headache + puking tendencies. just went through some of my school stuff.. i am in deep shit. ahh.. aight last day to screw my day and night back together.. gotta work a lot harder these 2 weeks.. i don't understand why trouble loves company. one after another.. just keeps coming.. im not affected anymore.. more like irritated? i just want to give everything up and start a new. start everything all over again. jump start my life ?


i felt quite happy seeing my mates find their true loves and such recently.. but theres a tinge of enviousness in me. much like i pine for someone but theres no one hahaha.. its so weird to forget what its like to have a heart. its like knowing someone with everything you ever wanted but there just isnt that click, spark that makes u want to make things happen. much like what i told someone yesterday. totally impossible. i've forgotten what it means to love. oh wait not even love. i've forgotten what its like to like someone. and of course right now... i trust no one. my last trusting bone was thrown to the dogs. yeah those fierce drooling rabies infected ones. a whole bunch of em!


luckily for me, right now i dunt need the distractions of my long lost heart. exams in 2 weeks. my course program is so fucking screwed really. its like im rushing to be err.. whats that word? reincarnated or something. but im worried in my recent stone cold attitude towards life and people and friends and anyone possibly dear to me. i apologize right now for not being myself. or what you think i should be like.


maybe, i'd call to talk. maybe, i'd send a little message. maybe, i'd appear infront of you one day. i just need someone to get my mind off stuff so yeah entertain my little whims and fancies just for awhile. i don't have all the time in the world. i just have now. haha.. shit. i hate myself when im in this kinda mood. feels sooo.. errr.. moppy and soppy and watever. truth is.. after all this while getting to know myself.. i've realized im sucha loser who runs away from everything. every single problem i run away from. i have an innate need to avoid all things which remotely cause me any stress at all. something along the lines of if i dunt face it its not a problem or something. yeah. probably due to years of low self esteem. heh.


but today is probably a blessing in itself.. irene is being such a lovely girl.. and for some reason i find Miss E so incredibly cute today. and of course there is shaunniex, lovable boy really. <3 <3 i wish u the best mate w your true love. my mind has the capacity of a 3 year old.. albeit a genius little kid but yeah.. i cant have too many things on my mind at the same time.. problems with math. problems at home. problems in life. oh wait did i mention problems with math? lets make it problems with school. oh but i dunt have problems with love anymore. i dunt have love in me. not even an ounce hahaha. i wish everything would just be okay. and that everything was just a bad dream. no more regrets. no more hurt,lies and deceit. i'm not proud of what i've done. but i cant see a reason not to move forward. im leaving my baggage on the ground. taking the 1st bus,taxi,plane,helicopter. please God, no more rubbish in my life. my ambition was never to be a rubbish collector and yet you make it seem like its my calling.

Things to do:
get a life
screw sleeping pattern back on track
quit mahjong
put as little weight on right leg as humanly possible
get some courage
tell her the truth
pray for my family
study hard for exams
actually learn to understand math
learn to show people how much i appreciate them ( i am working on this desperately )
attend more lectures
be nice to people
tell mom i love her
stop eating supper
diet
exercise
stop mocking png ( this is like the hardest to do )
forget about everything that should be forgotten ( easiest to do )



gd luck to Miss XLL in her assesment today. bet you'll still look as fresh as ever :)



great day. i got up at fking 7.30am. left my house at 8.30am. decided to take a cab. wore my shoes walked out to my gate.. press remote. AND THEN. REMOTE NO BATTERY. NEVERMIND i take out keys open padlock.. got out of house.. walked along lorong chuan waited for cab. wait 5 mins start to drizzle. as the next 5 mins went by the rain grew. wat the fuck man. hurried back to my house and open the damn gate again. asked mom to send me to the main crossroad wait for cab. waited in the rain my cute lil hmv umbrella.. nise. got cab. Got in. old cab driver spotted. he just talk and talk and talk and talk. TALK NEVERMIND NEVER ASK ME GO WHICH WAY. GO UP CTE LIAO THEN SAY EH BOY WANT GO WHICH WAY AR? i stare at him i tell him braddell to lornie road. HE FKING GO UP THE ERP TIANG 1 $1.50 surcharge 1st then come back down go braddell. REACH BRADDELL THE CARS THERE NOT MANY WAT. then the rain just mass heavy only. stupid taxi drowning in the rain and NOT moving AT all. then the sorzai taxi uncle i really duno what the fk he doing cut here cut there also never move much at all. left right left right. he totally playing with his signal lights man. then keep asking me where i going. tell me what go goh chok tong house. NISE. THEN WHEN FINALLY REACH DUNEARN ROAD he TURN WRONG. GO TILL SCGS?! I WTF? by then super emo already. wanted to reach school early to do assignment and it was 9.30 already. DAMN PEK CHEK LA. he UTURN then all the way back to hwa chong. somemore got the peak hour surcharge i tio owned badly man. seriously -.-"








alright. its been quite awhile since i've actually put my thoughts down because of some issues. and yeah most posts have been happy ones or just posts of what i've done. its been a hellish week.

havent been getting my usual 12 hours of sleep. rushing assignment after assignment and finally im left with just one. the one i hate the most too. haha nice. and yeah i received a message which should have hurt alot but right now it just seems so right. that its the right time to read something like that. lets see... its november 16th. so i have been single.. hmm.. 2 years 8 months. wow? thats a long time. and that i actually managed to trust u makes it worst. i don't need you. i don't your foolishness in my life. this is it. i made too many mistakes in the past already. theres no more im gonna make regarding you.

but theres a bright side to it.. i see the true value of my mates. wwts. lt. or my new found friends at school. brilliant people. they wouldnt let me down. but even if they did i know it'd be alright because the degree of it would be so much lesser. ivan, darren, shaun , marcus. friends? teammates? we've gone through lotsa shit together. and in turn we have trust. and to the rest of the LT dudes big <3.

to my friends at school. school wouldnt be any fun without you guys. and i don't regret ever meeting u guys :) altho we don't know each other well yet but hell yeah we're gonna. long way to go anyways. and wilson just for you. <3 sayang la. hahaha. maybe sometimes i give the wrong impression of myself but its just a self defense mechanism i guess, something like a mask to protect myself? i don't want anyone to know how i am truly feel or think. its just difficult right now. oh yeah and thanks vivian for being understanding heh.

alright. 1 more irritating math assignment to go. screw this shit.





hahaha